Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Thursday, July 4, 2013

real funny events from my life - VII



I keep coming up with posts that share the almost same heading as this one. It may seem a little weird to one, but for me that is normal. I cannot help much with that because I keep bumping into situations that provide the feed for such posts. Though I have no idea as to how that actually happens.
Anyway, I am happy that I get to witness many such moments in my life time. Hence, I end up penning them so that they could also bring a smile to whosoever end up getting a glance on them.

So, taking the series up further I recall a moment when I and my husband ended up meeting one of the current generations of Bollywood's promising and good-looking debutante.

If I recall correctly, it was the summers of 2010 and we both were on a short trip to Switzerland.

En route we had a 3-4 hour halt at Dubai. It was there where I noticed a familiar looking young and beautiful woman buying Clinique cosmetics. Instantly then my memory became friends with me and told me that the lady was the same one who models for the Maybelline cosmetics brand back home in India.

Since a little while earlier my husband had shooed me away since he was busy catching a nap, I thought of getting into a some small talk with that familiar looking woman in an otherwise boring airport.

So, I started the conversation by being sarcastic on her for fooling people in general by promoting something else and actually using something else in real.

On the other had, she turned out to be as kind a person as she looked.
She simply laughed off my scorn and continued chatting with me.

She told me that she was surprised because never before anyone had noticed her modeling for the Forever21 brand in the U.S of A. She rather believed that no one in her country or in the U.S.A actually knew her or even the fact that she was in fact an Asian and not a U.S.A resident.

Seeing her exuberance I truly felt that that day my memory was really happy being my friend. LOL

Anyway, taking our conversation further I even spoke to her about my being unhappy regarding the brand Forever21. I told her that my bone of contention with them was on a plain basic fact of being biased.
And that was that many of their products were made in India by cotton produced on the Indian soil, may be or may be not produced by an Indian textile unit, and lastly modeled by an Indian woman like the one with whom I was speaking; but still they were not sold in India.
To this and to all my other arguments she responded warmly with a hearty smile. Consequently, I developed an instant organic liking for her.
And after that we continued doing the regular girly chit-chat and I got so lost in the conversation with her that I did not realize that my husband appeared just next to me.

Obviously, that lady also got surprised seeing a stranger arriving from nowhere and giving a smile to her. The moment I realized that it was him, I introduced him to her and vice-versa.
And as none of us had expected, my act of introducing the two of them ended up being the last conversation between me and her.

This is what I said that time that day:

"This is my husband, Mr. Brar; and dear this is a top model of our country Ms. Penty."

As you must have guessed by now, all of us got stunned for few seconds.

No, I did not bother to care about the feelings of Ms. Penty, I just laughed in embarrassment and then we all laughed together, may be that too in combined embarrassment.

Till today whenever I see her on my TV screen dancing on Tumhi ho bandhu…I end up laughing.

P.S.: To this day I wonder if my dearest husband was actually catching on his sleep or was he watching me from a distance?

Or was it that Mr. Brar was staring secretly on Ms. Penty??



                                                         
diana-penty-brar
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Monday, June 3, 2013

'J' for Xerox


If you are seeing this picture properly, you know what I mean. This was really fascinating. The moment I saw this picture, I knew I had to capture it. I mean where else can one find such a beautiful display of glocalisation.

I discovered this beauty while on my trip to Jodhpur. I was staying at a hotel in Ajit Colony there. The main road that lead to a detour to my hotel had this beauty just right at the corner of the road. I was spellbound the moment I glanced at it, and then I captured it. Obviously, how could I have not done it?

But the best part was when the owners of the particular photocopying shop, to which this signboard referred to, saw me capturing its image. I saw a little perplexed expression on their faces so I took the initiative of informing that I really liked the way they spelled the word XEROX. And to my utter amusement they spoke their version of XEROX for me as JOREX....

And then I laughed and could not help muttering: J for Jodhpur; J for Jorex...



Monday, May 27, 2013

real funny events from my life - VI

Funny-Public-orgy


Many a times I go through these bizarre moments in my life when I really come up with the words WTF. Seriously WTF. Just look at the picture that is attached with the post.

I mean is there a possibility of any other reaction than a WTF????

I mean how can someone from a business of lights and decorations can use such a name for their business.

OK. I give them a benefit of doubt thinking that may be the one who coined that particular name for their enterprise must have done ages ago and I also presume that that particular person must have been a really angelic, sweet and naivest kinds....but still why was ignorance so deep rooted even in their youngest of generations....???

WTF...WTF...

Ah..this particular shop is located on the main road of a posh urban part of my city; and I pass by this shop at least once in 2 months, when I go to collect the rent from the tenets at my mother's place.

And every time I see the name of the shop in red big bold uppercase, I end up laughing out loud.

So, the last time when I was there, my friend Gaurav was also along. Obviously I showed him this, and we both decided to take a picture of it in order to update the World that India is also equivalent to Amsterdam...lol (only in fake fantasies)

Yeah, Gaurav uploaded this to his facebook, and I did here.

Will be happy if even 2 people will smile looking at this post....

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Things that I just dont get - VI

Almost every other day I come across something or the other that perplexes me to my core. There are many anecdotes that we end up growing up with, which are literally hurled upon us by our parents or our relatives.

One such anecdote I remember about the nice looking mustard seeds. I have always heard that they are good for the health and consuming them gives one nice lustrous black hair, may be that is the reason we have mustard hair oil as well. I remember being advised my paternal grandmother to apply the mustard all the time to get flowing strong hair like the flower of mustard's.

Adhering to that advise, I do apply mustard hair oil on my head, and I do believe that my hair will remain good with its application. But my recent thoughts about the good sounding prophecy of mustard and its oil have altered. The reason for the same is that I saw pictures of my good friend.

This is my friend with me in the pictures below. The first one is about a year ago; and the one below is a recent one. You can see that in the older picture he still had a thick horse shoe structure on his head; but the recent one just has a mark of that horse shoe, well a receding mark.

Well these pictures of him have made me have serious doubts on the potency of mustard seeds. It is because this friend not only applies mustard oil on his head, but also eats food cooked in it as well as has food made in gravy made of mustard seeds.

If a person who has eaten just mustard, mustard and mustard all his life can go bald like this, I wonder what use is of mustard anyway???


I got no answers...


Thursday, July 26, 2012

Things that I just dont get - V

English: Ceramic Depicting Fellatio. Moche Cul...
English: Ceramic Depicting Fellatio. Moche Culture. Larco Museum Collection. Lima, Peru. Free Use. Category:Larco Museum (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This post might turn to be one on the porn, but believe me it is not. This post is rather analytical; it is based on the doubt that I have been carrying in my head for a long time. Most of know that there is a term called "Blow Job", also referred as "blowing up". Both happen to be the slang for the term Fellatio. Now coming to my doubt, why exactly it is called so when it actually involves no blowing, rather the opposite of the activity??

I can be as simple and as direct about the whole notion of the nomenclature. I do not know why, nor could I ask anyone the same. The porn sites would only involve the execution of the term, and would not describe it, so no point turning to them. I looked up on the wikipedia, and it defines the term as "sucking", which is indeed the exact opposite of "blowing", then why the name Blow Job????





Saturday, June 9, 2012

stupidity that I did today

So, I planned to visit one of my friend today. Since, she became a mother 6 months back, so her routine is all driven by the needs of her baby. It had been months that we both met, so we decided to meet up today. She had set up the odd hours of afternoon, the time at which her baby is sound asleep for at least 1.5-2 hours at a stretch.

As planned, I landed at her building exactly at 1:30 pm. It was scorching hot and I was frustrated to find the lift not servicing. Since, her flat is at the topmost floor of the 8 storey building where she resides, I started sweating even before starting on the ordeal.

I had no choice but to start on with the stairs, one-by-one. My mind kept counting the floors; while my physical self was busy climbing the stairs. I reached to the point when one of the galleries of the building started beaming the harsh rays of the Sun. I gave no heed to the counting in my mind and was sure that I did arrive at my destination. Of course, no other gallery at any of the floors that I passed by had the rays of the Sun so stark; in fact all of the previous ones were gloomy.

I was relieved to finally made it to the top. I recalled that my friend's flat was the one next to the staircase; so my left hand automatically raised to ring the bell adjoining the door of the first flat on the floor. Just as I was about to do the same, it struck me that my friend's kid must have been in a slumber, and I should not make any efforts to wake him up; knowingly or unknowingly. I was so proud that finally these days wisdom is crossing through me at the right times. With a pride within me, I gave a slight tap to the door instead of my previous attempt of ringing the door bell. After that physical gesture, I kept waiting for full 3 minutes, but the door did not open from inside. So, I repeated the entire activity again. Though this time it must have been a full 1 minute wait (I am a no patience person LOL).

I reached to my cellphone with disappointment and started dialing my friend's phone. And the wisdom again struck me. I cancelled the call as soon as I realized that if my friend's phone was not a low ringing mode, it might disturb the baby and his sleep. And somehow the thought of witnessing a baby's cry after his/her sleep is disconnected is more harrowing  than to wait with expectation at a closed door to open on its own. So I did the latter for another 2 minutes. Then, naturally I had it enough. I grew adamant with my feelings of confronting my friend for not being thoughtful of opening the door for me when she knew that I was expected anytime. When I was thoughtful enough to take care of not awaking her baby in any way; and also taking pains to travel under the hot Sun in the days of threshold of summer to meet her in an equally odd time of the day; can she not be little concerned in return for her friend. With these miffed thoughts in the back of my mind, I simply pushed the main door of her flat across.

And my God what did I witness. 4 young lads sleeping on the floor in nothing but their under wears. The first and instant thought that crossed my mind was that they must have been some young relatives of my friend who must have come to my friend's house to spend a day. But my instant thoughts instantly vanished when I saw the tall legs of those semi-naked boys. I lay stunned for few seconds till one of the boys woke up  from his sleep and started looking for his clothes hurriedly seeing a woman like me. Poor boy could not locate his clothes and he ran towards the other room adjoining the one he was sleeping in. In the process of running away, he ended up waking another one who was lying next to him. He too examined me with his sleeping eyes and accompanied his friend in running away to save his honor. But then I wonder how much of his honor was left to save. His underpants were already like the ones of John Abraham from the movie Dostana. May be the most important part of the honor was saved, I suppose. Till then too I was standing completely froze. I hate myself when the moments of wisdom do not flash through any part of my body in such situations, lest not the brains. Finally, after few seconds I realized that I never actually counted the floors of the building while taking the staircase. So, as soon as the wisdom dawned upon me, I took a 90 degree turn and ran to the staircase to climb one more floor.

I was relieved to find my friend outside her main door welcoming me with a cheerful smile. Since, both of us were outside her flat, I took the opportunity to describe in detail the virtual sexual assault that I ended up committing on 4 poor young boys. Good that I did, cause she went into a laughing hysteria that ended for full 5 minutes, and I presume that that must have been audible to the freshly assaulted boys residing downstairs. I am so sure because I remember not closing their main door behind me when I left them....



P.S: I think by the time of climbing at some moment my mind had also worn out along with my body. I am really apologetic, but from next time I will be careful. Though I still wonder what the other 2 boys who were sleeping all through the ordeal must have thought after waking up and being updated on this very` event.



Friday, May 11, 2012

Things that I just dont get - I

There are many things around that I witness during my day to day craft of living that make me go perplexed. Just this morning I saw this product on some online cosmetic website, and it took me a full 3 minutes to gather what the product really was.

In fact looking at it I was congratulating the owner Vinita Jain of Biotique for coming up with Sports and Fitness products. With the thought about this new range of health products I went off to my daily regime of cleaning my face. I was wondering whether to ingest the product or is it supposed to be a topical application one. But as soon as I was awake from my stupefaction after splashing my face with my customary rose water, that I realized that it was not any new range, but the regular hair conditioner that was advertised.

People please have a look at the picture and tell me if I was wrong in getting that stupid notion.

P.S: Ms Jain, I respect you a lot, but please give some thought before setting out the nomenclature to your product ranges....Ever thought of renaming the same product as "Volumizing Shampoo" ??

Thursday, March 29, 2012

The kind of people I love to have over as guests

Hhahha before even starting writing this blog post, I end up laughing. The reason is that although the heading of this post may suggest that I probably look forward to visits of my family members and dear friends to my place; but in reality it is much more than that.


hahhahahhha

So here it goes:

No matter how hard I try, I am just not able to install all the traits of a  domesticated wifey in myself. I buy all the cleaning agents available in the mall; have read Reader's Digest guide to cleaning home, but still I am not able to bring myself to the act.

And yes, the domestic helps, I have hated them since I was a kid. I don't know why, I just don't like maids...not that I have ever  been molested by any of the maids in the house when I was small, but I think the hatred stems more on the grounds of ethics and inhumane, guileful capabilities of these people.

So, you see my house gets to bear the brunt of my idiosyncrasies and incapability. Not just the house, but everything inside it. My poor husband at times shines the glass table with a newspaper whenever he gets to the see the poor table besmirched with weeks of dirt.

In moments of such deep penetrating embarrassment, I simply start wiping any other set of furniture that my eyes could glance on, irrespective of whether it was filthy or was not.

Well, guys do not take me wrong, I am actually so naive, that I do not see dirt or grime around anywhere. I swear, I just don't see it.

But luckily, happy days are here to come...

Now, I know 2 people in all my years of living, who are adverse to filth, and do not mind cleaning it, well irrespective of the location. Even if the location specified is anybody slse's house, and particularly  mine.

So, but naturally, I have made good friends with them. I invite them over for a lunch at my place, and in return they clean my house. HAHA

Really, it is become that simple. One of them is a friend's aunt and the other one is a distant relative. Luckily, both of them score high on OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).

Literally, they both cant see dust and chaos. I really marvel them for this, wish some day my eyes could also be so telescopic to filth....may be just I was born to see everything pretty and beautiful.....

HHAAAAAHHH

P.S: Considering the fact that my husband calls me a "WITCH", I do not come to fathom the other utility options of a broom other than transportation.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Greek God went into a doom

This is my entry to the ExpediaContest on Indiblogger. The contest is about describing a meeting with an interesting person during a travel expedition. Well, I got many such memories of meeting interesting people during my travels. The list includes cab drivers in Mumbai, cycle rickshaw pullers in Jaipur, bhajia sellers at Tarkarli, hotel owners at various places, bouncers at club shacks in Goa, fishermen at the beaches of California, young executives at Singapore, teenage girls from Japan, craftsmen from Chiang Mai and many many more. By the way, I am in touch with all the people mentioned in the last statement. There is only one person with whom I am not.  

That one person I happened to meet at my trip to the Switzerland and today I remember him the most.


This incident of meeting him up happened 2 years back. The event was my delayed honeymoon. “My” and not ours because my husband was just not interested in it. And a delayed one because this was after 5 years of marriage, that I had our official honeymoon. Rather for my husband, it was a tormented journey of staying day and night with his wife of 5 years and girl friend of 5 years; altogether staying together with the woman he had detested for the past 10 years of his life.

We were spending our time at a beautiful place called “Interlaken” in Switzerland. We were put for 3 nights and 2 days at the place. The place is a beautiful city, which has lakes and lakes everywhere, may be that is why it is named Interlaken. We had our our first day planned with a sight-seeing tour to the Jungfrau Mountains. They constitute the Swiss part of the magnificent Alps

The route to reaching the Jungfrau consists of a rail network that takes about 2 hours to reach the place. Firstly, one is supposed to reach Grindlewald and then from there board another train that goes to Jungfrau. So that eventful day we too got down at Grindlewald and then got into another train that was supposed to take us to the Jungfrau. Our journey till Grindlewald was fine and boring; well it is always boring when I travel with my husband. It is because he expects me to keep quiet, which is his idea of enjoying a happy vacation. Luckily, that part of the journey was just of half an hour, and it ended quick. Then we boarded another train at Grindlewald to reach to our final destination of the day. We were waiting for the train to get started, and there came a young, good looking, cheerful man who greeted us and the elderly couple who were sitting just next to us. He told them in a joyous tone that they were sitting at a wrong compartment and should find a place in the compartment next to that. I had noticed that we also had the same traveling vouchers as the elderly couple, so that would have meant changing compartments for us too. I informed my husband the same and we both stood up to change our seats. But as soon as we stood up to do the same, the cheerful guy returned to us and told us to remain seated. Since we looked puzzled, he therefore, told my husband that he did that purposely so that he could have a comfortable day at his job of a travel escort. He was escorting a group of octogenarians on their Europe trip, and except the couple whom he asked to leave, rest all were his clients in that compartment. And since all of the aging people look the same, he could have had a trouble time in identifying and preventing those ones from mixing in his travel group. But we were not a threat to him, so we were more than welcome to be a part of his entourage. Hearing his story we both started laughing and were instantly drawn towards him. The entire 1 hour of journey went happily. We both loved the way he was treating his elderly customers. They were short of sight, so he would show them the landmarks that passed by the route individually, and would instruct them to use their binoculars. Some of them would complain of the cold environment, and then he would place a stole on their backs. And the ones who dozed off were simply allowed to relax and were not disturbed. 

Finally the time passed and we reached the Jungfrau. We could not bid adieu to him because he was busy in helping each of his client in getting off the train, slowly and slowly. Me and my husband enjoyed the beautiful snow peaked mountains for about 10 minutes. Such a long time because we had woken up early for this and had spent almost 2 hours traveling to see the destination. So, as per my husband it would have been unfair if we had not spent enough time there. It was indeed 10 minutes, because you see my husband hates to do sight-seeing…LOL I was still fine with it, at least he came in person for the honeymoon…Any ways, after that he was sure that he made his wife happy, so then it was his turn of putting up a demand.

That eventful day he just had the luxury of drinking 2 cups of tea in the morning, cause that day he feared that his daily indulgence could have made us arrive late for the early morning sight-seeing activity. So he had to have one bigger cuppa to fulfill his daily dose of drinking 1 entire kettle of tea! So then, we found an Indian restaurant at the Jungfrau and there we both indulged in our daily sipping activity before going all the way back to our hotel in Interlaken. The entire return journey we, rather I did not speak. Guess I had a lot of adventure for the day coming up. May be I was amassing all my synergies to face the upcoming events in the day. Firstly, I met this smart and adventurous travel escort, whose idiosyncrasy kept me entertained for a while. Secondly, I spent entire 10 minutes with my husband at the Alps. Both the events together contributed to having spent a beautiful day (till then.)

Then, we took the same journey back and reached the Interlaken West station. From there we started walking back towards the East where our hotel was. Surprisingly, my husband held my hand and I realized we both looked like perfect boyfriend-girlfriend. Please note that we did not look like a couple or a husband-wife then, if you are one of the two and reading this, I am sure you will understand what I mean by this strict demarcation.

But as my destiny is, I could not enjoy that moment for even 10 minutes. My experience of living a blissful married life was shaken when I realized that I was not carrying my hand-bag!!! My handbag was not with me that had my wallet, my glasses, my medicines and little important cosmetic stuff without which I fail to turn myself into a beautiful human optical illusion. Also, my wallet had all the 17 credit cards, my government identity cards and a lot of cash. I screamed in desperation and then my husband started screaming in anger. He took off with his “I told you so and so…..”. And for another 10 minutes, his “I told you so and so….” did not end. He kept on with “thank Goodness I am carrying the passports; you cannot take responsibility for anything.” After his 10 minutes were over, I started off with my half an hour of rebuke.

“So what, , why am I responsible for anything and everything in our World. You also could have taken the cash along. You never carry cash, because of which I have to carry the entire bank with me. Being a wife I planned everything in this trip, which was actually a husband’s job. 99% of my work is perfect, I am never thanked or appreciated for that, but the moment I fail in doing 1% of it correct, you never fail to bash me up for that. And in any case all that is lost is my bag and my money and my stuff in that, you do not need to worry for that. Go to your room and sleep, because that is what you can do best. ” I shouted all that to him and started going back towards the station crying. Little did I know then what would have happened next. 

Suddenly the escorting travel expert appeared from nowhere and asked me if the white coloured bag in his hand was mine. It took me sometime to realize what had happened, since I was so engrossed within my choler. When in another 2 seconds I came in my senses, I could only ask him “How come??”

Then, he held my left hand, hanged my bag onto that; took my right hand and pulled me towards my husband, whose back was turned against us, or rather was facing towards the West direction. He greeted him and pushed me towards him and said "Gentleman, all your lost baggage is with you now."

My husband was also surprised seeing him, seeing me with him; seeing me with my handbag; and seeing all of us together. Since, that travel escort was always the last passenger to get off the train compartments and almost from every place due to his slow walking customers; he therefore was the first one to spot any unattended baggage.    

We asked him to have a coffee with us in return for the help that he had rendered to us. He accepted our invite willingly and we all went to a deli nearby. Just few minutes into the conversation and we all got friendly with each other. Please note that he term "Each Other" includes me and my husband with each other, as well the stranger with both of us. His name was Nicolas and was from Greece running his own travel escort service. Most of his clients were the elderly who dread to go alone for travels. He said he loved his job and shared his business card with us. He also said that 20 years hence he would be happy to take both of us for a traveling expedition and would expect both of us to be happily married to each other that time.

With those words he parted from us and wished both of us a happy journey, we wished the same to his future travel expeditions and thanked him again for the help.

Reaching back to India, I searched his email id on the facebook, and sent him a friend request. He accepted the same after 2 months. Both of us stayed in touch for a long time. We did not interact much, except for sharing our recent travel pictures with each other. I guess it was around few months back when all the financial news on this Globe was concentrated on the Greece economic melt down that I thought about the Greek God that I met 2 years back. I checked for his name on my facebook friend list, but could not find him. I even sent him an email, but the mail bounced back. I have no idea where and when did he vanish from the World Wide Web.

It really hurts me to realize that I never took a picture with him, and today I have no idea how to get in touch with him again. All I have is his memories and his business card, I have attached both with this post.

greek-God's-visitng-card









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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Pandey Vs Leone


This image exactly depicts the situation that was in my house. My usually simple and sidha sadha husband was caught in a similar embarrassing situation.

Porn star Sunny Leone at the 2007 Adult Entert...
Porn star Sunny Leone at the 2007 Adult Entertainment Expo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The occasion was a simple get together at our friend's place when this event occurred. Few friends started on with the argument of ethics of the entire country at stake when such porn stars are aired on the prime time family channels;well in our country all channels are family one, except for Parental Guidance required for few shows on some.


Usually I am the one who has a liberal stand on most of such arguments involving nudity or physical expression of love; but I was and I am till today against a porn star being a part of main frame entertainment industry. She might be anybody anywhere, but in those nations it is a legal business, so she has no right to use her country of origin to promote her illicit business. Well, porn is an illicit one in my country. By saying that I do not take a Sati, Savitri stance that I have never seen a porn; but seeing it and doing it, producing it and getting rich through it and then exploring newer geographies to increase your sales is something I am deadly against.

So, these kind of arguments were being thrown at a discussion, when suddenly my husband shocked everyone by saying, all said and done, she is damn good looking. Look at her skin, her lovely eyes, lips and to complement it all, a perfect body. I was like, Boy!! where did this come from?? Is this my husband speaking?? By the way, he is the same person who never liked my watching "Kingfisher Calendar Girls", he always used to react to the show by saying "is this all left to do in this World to get name and fame???"

Also, he actually loathes Poonam Pandey. About her he has nothing good to speak; as per him, she neither has a good face, has a dark black complexion, no natural assets and top of it she has got a country name - Pandey.

"OMG why do parents do not object to such kids who in the awe of glamour retort to competition by coming out with such derogatory statements, which may sound cool, but are in fact demeaning to them and their family equally."

What a strong bias, poor Pandey has not even shed her clothes, she only spoke of doing that. But Leone, not only sheds but performs stunts umpteen times. Ahhh so bad.

So, one can imagine my plight. He went on with "So what if she is a porn star, she is clear with what she wants in life. Also, she is doing it all in open, and does not give a sob story to sanitize it all!!" To this I just  wanted to answer "....as if Sunny Leone can afford to wear a Burqa and then perform her stunts." But I did not say a word, it was taking me some while to get over this new general knowledge of my better half.

Exactly pondering on the situation for a day I realized where the disconnect or the connect was. Well it was all because the porn sensation happened to be born as a certain "Malhotra" and so the support for her. Now you can understand why the semi-porn sensation miss Pamdey is loathed, cause she reminds him of his sasural wale.

Malhotras, Khannas, Mehtas are all family for him.
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Sunday, January 8, 2012

The Catty Me

So, this is when I think I had come to spend some time at his place in the morning at 8 am. He was a bachelor then, (we were not married that time) and both his mother and sister were also not in the home for more than 2 years. The sister got married and went to stay in the U.S.A, and his mommy was spending time at her very own States (States of Punjab). Naturally then, he did not have a functional kitchen, just the one that could make tea and heat rotis. We both enjoyed the lovely tea that he prepared. He tried to make that day as special as he could, well it was a special day then. It was the first time I visited his place for a morning tea. After having tea, he took my leave and told me that he would be back in 2 hours, as he had an appointment with someone. I was alone in the entire house with nothing much exciting to do. I switched on the television, hoping to catch up with some latest Bollywood numbers. I was staying in a hostel those days, so lacked the privilege of holding a television remote in my hand and controlling the channels. That thrilling activityI must have done for another 15 minutes, after which I got bored. I then moved to doing some thing more interesting than that. I started roaming around the house. After checking out the usual stuff like the decorative pieces, and tiny tit-bits here and there, my eyes got focused to the unopened package of OREO sitting nicely on the dining table. I was thrilled to see that. As we had started dating just few weeks before that, so I was confident of forgetting all the courtesy and manners that I must have accumulated till then. I simply attacked on that package and started opening it. But even after 5 minutes, I was still opening it, yes it was that securely packed. May be it knew that it would be hijacked by me, so the packaging was securely sealed on it. I further struggled with it, and after snatching it from all over, I gave up. It was simply too much of an effort to have an Oreo.

I had woken up early on that Sunday, and I knew I would be up for the whole day, so I altered my attention to rather indulging in a good sleep till he returned. After sleeping for about an hour, I woke up, cause I was feeling hungry. I found out that he was back and was on the phone. He greeted me and was sounding excited to share the rest of the day with me. After he was done, I slyly asked him if he could open the box of Oreo for me, as I was pretty sure that he purposely must have got those for me only. Otherwise why else would he firstly buy such a big pack and place it on the table. He surely thought of gifting me that. He replied to that, but not with an affirmation. I was surprised to hear that from him, and that too so early in our relationship. I frowned automatically, and then he started to explain and apologize, both simultaneously. Immediately it struck me that it was not a gift for me, and was meant for somebody else. Considering the price of it then, (12 years back) and my economic state of a student, I felt really bad. I mentally started preparing my list of apology when he was putting out his. But I had no idea that his apology speech would have such a surprise element, to which there would be no need of my apology speech. He told me that he threw the entire box of 1 Kg of Oreo in the dustbin because he found it pilfered by a CAT!!!

I screamed in surprise : "A CAT"

"Yes, a CAT. One stray cat haunts my house and snatches most of the food stuff. She also breaks open the packaged products like biscuits, wafers in her trademark way, which is so typical of its species. The same cruel snatches I found on that biscuit pack, so I threw it away. I am so sorry, I bought the entire pack for you only as a gift, but I will get you another one today. OK. Love, I am really sorry"

After  hearing this I could not utter a single word. Till date I have not admitted the events of that day to him, but after moving into the house with him, I got the entire windows properly grilled, so as to render the entry of any external cats into the house. I am the only ruling CAT in the house to this day. LOL
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